Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No

A Note from the Author

When parents tell teens the truth, set limits, establish curfews, confront misbehavior, and do a host of other things, they are providing a structure and helping teens to develop a structure. If all goes well, teens will ultimately and safely discard their parents’ structure and, using their own structure, be able to meet the demands of adult life and responsibility.

And that is the purpose of this book, to show you how to help your adolescent shoulder responsibility for her actions, attitudes, and speech so that she learns the gift of self-control and ownership over her life. The whole process starts with you, the parent. So in this book you will learn a deceptively simple skill that all parents of teens need: knowing when to say Yes, and how to say No. That is, how to implement and enforce healthy, loving boundaries with your adolescent.

You’ll also find help for developing your own limits so that you can transmit what you know and who you are to your teen.

—Dr. John Townsend